From the moment I saw you I loved you!
Since then my love has only grown as I have watched you both grow before my eyes.
I struggled with the sleepless nights, the (what seemed like) never ending feeding, the crying when there seemed to be nothing I could do to soothe you, But a flash of one of your smiles made everything seem ok.
Im not the perfect mum I've made mistakes, made choices that I maybe could have made better, Maybe I should have taken you to more baby classes or given you more cuddles but I did try my best.
You see neither of you came with a manual and there are no instructions on being a mum.
James im sorry if I made mistakes whilst learning how to be a mum, when perhaps I didn't wind you properly and then you were sick, When we maybe should have got out of our pajamas and gone to a baby group but mummy just couldn't face going out. Im sorry for the times it took me a little longer to work out what you were crying for it was new for me too and it was all trial and error im afraid and seeing you crying broke my heart!
Evelyn im sorry that we didn't spend hours just cuddling I had your brother climbing on my back and peaceful moments are a thing of the past, Im sorry you seemed to get carted around to all James swimming classes, school visits and nursery drop offs, Im sorry that you received hand me down toys they may look used but they just remind me of the fun and smiles your brother had with them and I hope you have the same enjoyment.
Being a mum has just made me realise that true love happens in an instant. Its that feeling you feel when they hand you your baby and everything around you just stops.
Yes the sleepless nights, constant feeding, the explosive nappies and crying is hard sometimes but it is all worth it!
I hope when you grow up you know how much I love you!