Tuesday, 17 November 2015

An open letter to my baby on our "Tough Days".

Oh Evelyn, 

Today has been tough you have decided you no longer want milk yet you won't settle to sleep without it. You have been whingy, tired and so so unsettled. Its made me question my self not only as a parent or the way I parent but as a person and who I am. 

This isn't our first tough day and I am certain it won't be our last. I know that the world is so new to you and I will bare with you whilst you discover it. I will be by your side to offer cuddles when you can't sleep and I will scoop you off the floor when you tantrum. Just bare with me to Evelyn as being a mum is new to me too, your so different from you brother who was so chilled and relaxed. Evelyn you want all of my attention all of the time which makes these tough days so much harder as you only want your mum and sometimes mummy needs a break too. 

When your sad and I can't comfort you its breaks me inside, in my head im referring back to these pictures on social media of happy children and smiling families. We don't often see the "tough days" on Facebook or Twitter and I have to remind myself that these days are very real for everyone. 

When you go off to bed some nights I sit in the dark and I have a few tears its not because I don't love you, my gosh far from it! Its because I love you so much! I realise that if these days are tough for me they must be even harder for you, at just 18 months old everything is new, rules cannot be understood and tears are your way of telling me something is wrong.

Today has been tough but tomorrow is new so tonight when I settle you down and wipe both our tears lets wake up with smiles and remember today is a new day, it make be tough or it may be great but remember I always love you! 

xXx

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