Monday, 2 October 2017

Im a Worrier, Its who I am!

I'm a worrier its who I am, I spent half my life making decisions and then wondering if I made the right one and that only got worse when I had kids!

We all just want the best for our children and so of course we want to make the best decisions and those decisions start as soon as they are born. I was filled with anxiety and worry about everything I did as soon they handed me my tiny baby in my arms. Was I holding him right? Was I feeding him right? Was he warm/cool enough... you get the picture.




I would sit at home filled with worry, so we would go out then I worry my baby was tired or that I didn't fit in with other mums. I couldn't win I was being so unfair on myself, it didn't matter what I did I would beat myself up about it after. Doubting my own decisions, my own ability and my own parenting. I wanted to be the perfect parent! I wasted so much time trying to be that person I couldn't even see that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, its a myth something we all try to achieve without realising that we are all perfect in the eyes or our children, just for trying our best.

Then in a moment of clarity on a chilly Monday morning sat on my sofa I realise that none of this really matters. My children won't remember the stress I felt, or how clean the house was. They won't remember the times I raised my voice when I wish I hadn't or the times we fell out.

But they will remember the love I had for them, the fun holidays we had and all the times we spent together just being a family. The warm hugs, kisses and the laughter we shared and I hope they remember just how much I believe in them.


Mums and Dad's please try to remember that parenting isn't about a specific day, time or moment its a long journey one that never really ends. No journey is smooth, they all have bumps and turns and times when we feel stuck but that's ok its what makes us who we are. Don't beat yourself up like I did over something so small, our children love us regardless just as we do them. They won't care what they were wearing or the mistakes we made because they will know we tried our best.

Heck this parenting malarkey is difficulty there is no manual, no instructions and I'm pretty sure our children are sent to test us sometimes, but try to be kind to yourself. Its ok to make mistakes its how we learn and how we grow.

When we look back to this time when they are grown and leaving school, starting college or a new job we won't remember the mistakes we made, the worry and doubt we let consume us. We will look back and realise how proud we are and our children will know how loved they are and that's all that really matters.

xXx

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