Tuesday, 12 December 2017

" Mummy my friend's think you're fat!... "

Its a conversation I knew deep down was coming but one I had wished and hoped wouldn't.

Yesterday as we drove home from school and my husband was asking me how my latest slimming world weigh in had gone, it happened! James turned to me and says "mum I don't really want to tell you because I know it will make you sad.... but my friends said you're fat."

That was it my heart simply sank right there and then I held back the tears that wanted to stream from my face. Instead I simply replied "that's ok James". What a stupid thing to say, of course it wasn't ok! I was basically confirming to him that its ok for people to say horrible things about others which is something I tell him is not ok every day!

You see the truth is I didn't feel worthy of feeling sad or upset. I am fat! Despite losing 2 stone 7lbs at Slimming world its been a pretty long slow journey and I'm still very much over weight so the fact is I am fat and they are right, how could I then be upset?




James replied with "no mum, its not ok I told them not to say it because its unkind." Again my heart sank, how had we got to this stage where I had let my weight get to the point where my sons 8 year old friends were taunting him for it and now my 8 year old son was sticking up for me. I felt awful, torn up inside and didn't know whether to be angry at myself or just go to bed and cry. I held it all back though so he didn't see it had effected me since I didn't want him to be sad either.

I have since told him thank you for sticking up for me and tried to brush the conversation to the back of my mind, but honestly I can't! Its just there eating up at me, wondering how many times his friends have said this and how its affecting him. Why did I let myself get like this and why the hell did I not do something about it sooner?!.


I've been milling it over in my mind, imagining how they said it, how James reacted and wishing kids weren't so cruel. But I have come to realise there are two things I can do about this, I can get sad about it (and probably eat crap and get even fatter). Or I can take it on the chin remember this gut wrenching feeling and use it to help me with my weight loss.... and that's exactly what I will be doing. When I hit the days when I want to give up or not go to the gym I'm going to remember this and how it made me feel and use this for motivation!

But as a side line can I just say to all parents, carers, friends and family with children. Please remind them how there words can hurt just as much as causing someone physical harm. That there words have the power the rip someone apart and to appreciate people that come in all shapes and sizes. We shouldn't judge people by what they look like and that's something we all need to be sure our kids know about!


xXx

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your son. You should be so, so proud that he told the child off for using such unkind words. You're clearly a great mum x
    Well done for using the incident to motivate you, you've come so far, don't let this stop you x

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  2. Ah your son sounds like a lovely young man. Well done on losing over 2 stone so far - you've done well xxx

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