Im writing this with tears in my eyes, not because im sad but because im so proud to be your mum.
Together we have been through some pretty tough patches but some damn amazing ones too! Whoever said parenthood was easy could never have been a parent, its the most exhausting, challenging, emotional job in the world yet it offers up the most rewards!
James when I became your mummy I was so scared I felt like a child myself at just 19 how could I possible raise you to be the beautiful boy I knew you could be. Having you meant I had to grow up but that's just what we did James we grew together! I taught you to clap, to walk, to talk, You taught me to love, care and become a mum.
I often look back and wonder if I did enough for you, did we go to enough baby groups? did I teach you enough, did you socialise enough? did I feed you right? enough? all these questions running around my head but you could make it all right with a simple "love you mummy" and I think we did ok James. You are excelling at school and despite your tantrums you are a beautiful young man who never fails to make everyone around you smile with your witty come backs and general cuteness.
Im still learning from you now James, when I applied for your school last year I had endless sleepless nights, it was such a big decision that was going to shape your young life. How could I make that decision by myself? But you guided my through you came with me to the school visits you told me what you liked, I researched until I could read no more and now you have been at school almost 1 year I can see how happy you are and I think we made the right choice!
Evelyn when I was pregnant with you I stressed so much, how could I find anymore love in my heart when it already felt over flowing for your brother. How would James cope with having a brother/sister? How would I cope with 2 children? But when they placed you in my arms and clique or not I loved you so much and my love for you and James wasn't shared, it felt like my heart grew bigger and I was filled with more love.
Although I had learnt so much with James me and you were on a whole new learning curve, me as a mummy of 2 and you as a baby sister. James was besotted by you and you loved him too. James could make you smile in an instant and I knew you were a mummy's girl as I was the only one who could settle you when you cried. It felt amazing to see you and James growing together and I am amazed at how quickly you are learning new things with the help of your loving brother.
Its true what they say all babies are different and you totally proved that! You have tested us out with very little sleep and cried and cried with no real explanation. I like to think of those as your "little diva" moments because you are usually so calm and relaxed and can always offer up a smile.
There are things that you have both taught me in life and on of those things is that sometimes it is the smallest things in live that bring us the biggest smiles, the largest amount of love and make us realise just how precious life is.