Thursday, 20 August 2015

Sharing some advice for new mums.

I was just 19 when I had my first baby James and boy was I scared. I had no clue what I was doing and when they handed me my tiny baby boy I felt clueless to the situation and the pain and 18 hour labour certainly didn't help towards that clueless haze I was in.

After a sleepless night at the hospital my husband came to collect me in the morning and after a quick check over and a bit of paper work we were signed out of the hospital, handed our baby in his new car seat and sent on our merry way. Im pretty sure as soon as we stepped out of the hospital doors both me and my husband looks at each other in the hope that the other knew what to do with this baby we had just been handed!

(James just a few hours old!)

It was all going to be this giant learning curve and new adventure for us both in which we would have to learn as we went, pick up new skills and adjust to life as parents. Being quite young not many of our friends had babies which made the journey even harder as it felt like we didn't have many people to turn to for advice, we soon both learnt our own parents were invaluable for such advice!

Now as a mum of 2 I am most certainly still learning, still adjusting and still often turn to my mum or other friends with babies for advice. However I have learnt a few things on the way and so today I thought I would share a few of those thoughts with you, so here they are.



  • When you first come home don't feel like you have to allow everyone round to visit straight away. Its ok to say no and its ok to need some time to bond and recover as a family. Its so easy to feel pressured into feeling like you must let everyone round as soon as you are home but that's not the case and people will understand that you need some time to settle home. 

  • Check out your local area for mum and baby groups or sessions as these can be a great way to meet new mums and get out and about. Sometimes being a new mum can feel quite lonely so meeting others who are going through the same thing as you can be an easy way to meet lots of mums in one place. If you have a local Sure Start centre these often run baby groups such as baby massage, mum and baby groups, young mum groups and stay and play sessions.

  • Pyjama days are fine, whilst going out to baby groups and play dates is a great way to meet new mums and get out and about its also ok to admit that some times you just need a day to yourself. It can be a lovely opportunity to just spend some one to one time with you and your little one with no pressure to get ready and be out and about and organised.

  • Don't be afraid to tell doctors/ midwives or health visitors exactly how you are feeling! When I had James I knew something wasn't right with the way I was feeling but I was so worried that if I told someone they would try and take my baby away that I didn't say anything. Eventually my husband persuaded me to speak to a doctor who said I had mild post natal depression and offered lots of help, support and advice. These people are there to help and support not judge or intimidate so please do feel like you can talk to them if you need to, they won't know whats wrong or be able to help if you don't. 

  • Don't feel guilty for taking some "me time", your a mum and a human not a robot and we all need a little time to ourselves to recoup and sleep (mostly sleep lol!). I used to feel so guilty about even leaving James for a few hours with my mum, it felt like I wasn't doing what I was suppose to and I was in some way failing by letting someone else care for him. Now I can look back that was most certainly not the case and by giving myself some me time I could be a better mum to my baby as I was more relaxed, had caught up on sleep and had managed some time being me rather than "mum". 

  • Try not to compare your babies milestones to everyone else's baby. Its so easy to get lured in to comparing your baby to others of similar age and then worrying if they are different. How much milk are they having, how many teeth, are they walking, sitting, crawling, do they sleep through the night are questions I am sure we all ask and so will many other mums. Whilst its great to compare stages and milestones for a bit of fun please don't worry if your baby is different, all babies develop and learn at different rates so unless you feel there is something seriously wrong try not to worry. 

Most of enjoy your baby! They certainly don't stay little for long and before you know it they are heading of for school and you are left wondering where your little non sleeping milky monster went and how time went so fast! 

Do you have any top tips to share for new mums?
Please do share below in the comments I would love to hear them. 

xXx




22 comments:

  1. Great tips, I was a mum at just 19 too. what helped me was having lots of meals all ready to go in the freezer so that I didn't have to think about cooking for the first couple of weeks :)

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  2. What great advice for new mums.

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  3. I remember that moment all too well, when we got home, closed the door and looked at each other with a 'now, what?' expression!

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  4. Some great advice here Jess! I agree with Sonia's idea of stocking up on freezer meals to make life as easy as possible x x

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  5. Fab tips. I think I just stared at Maxi for about a week wondering how we got him home without someone checking that we were ok to have a child. Even the RSPCA do home visits before you adopt a dog!

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  6. Aww this sounds like some great advice. x

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  7. Some really honest advice here, especially about talking about how you're feeling. It's not good to bottle that up for too long if you are not feeling right. x

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  8. Great tips for new mums here, I learnt the hard way that there is on fact no better or worse way its just a case of trusting your own instincts xxx

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  9. That is some really great advice x

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  10. Some good advice here. I regret not allowing us more pyjama days, but I got stir crazy after my c section & was keen to be out and about.

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  11. I love the take time for yourself tip - it should be about you as well as baby.

    Lizzie Dripping

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  12. Oh yes, I remember walking out of hospital with my first, amazed they were letting me take her home without an instruction manual!

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  13. Very good pointers, I would add, don't have these great expectations of yourself, life with a new baby is one of the hardest things you would get to do and surviving it does it just fine, especially for those first few weeks when you need to adjust to having a tiny new human being in your life.xx

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  14. Couldn't agree more, especially with not allowing visitors if you don't feel up to it. I was exhausted, had a severe kidney infection and mastitis and I still had visitors all day every day for the first week. Will not be happening with the next one!

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  15. These are great tips for new mums. Totally agree with not allowing visitors if you don't feel up to it. I remember after my second I came home and our friends knocked the door minute we arrived. I was shattered x

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  16. These are fab tips. We had no idea what to do with M when we brought her home. Everyday is school day being a Mum! :-) #binkyllinky

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  17. Great post. I had visitors in hospital whilst I was still in the recovery room and looking back now I wish I hadn't. My husband and I hadn't even discussed visitors beforehand so I think that's something I would recommend doing. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  18. Great tips and really good advice thanks for linking to the binkylinky

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