Time to slow down and live life!

Hurry Up, Come on, Lets go are words that seem to regularly leave my mouth especially where the kids are concerned. I am rushing them out the door, rushing them along the path or in to the car we just always seem to be rushing.

You see when you become a mum its a whole new way of life, a whole new schedule and with another little person to look after as well as doctors appointments, play dates, baby classes, music classes and later on school runs, after school clubs and so on you become a bit of a machine. Always with somewhere to be or something to do, a schedule to adhere to and a place to be.

Both James and Evelyn are observant children they like to look around noticing things that I may otherwise have breezed past in my schedule fueled frenzy. James especially now he is a little older loves taking his time to peruse the world at his leisure and I actually found myself getting frustrated. Why?... I have no idea and when I look back now I feel annoyed and shamed of myself for feeling this way. For putting a schedule above my children's enjoyment of life!

This is when I decided I needed to slow down, I needed to story hurrying them along, let them enjoy life at their pace and let them discover the world and all it has to offer.
So we are late for a play date, our friends will still be there when we arrive and I am sure will totally understand and love to hear James' story about how we stopped to watch a squirrel leaping through the trees or to pet a lovely dog.

I needed to stop getting frustrated when James wanted to talk to a dog or pick up some brightly coloured leaves, I needed to listen to his stories but not just listen REALLY listen! I need to remember that appointments can be rearranged, friends will understand but discovering the world with so much joy that a child has simply cannot be replaced or hurried.

After all the world is still so new to them James is just 6 and Evelyn not even 2 yet. There are every day things they are still discovering, exploring and marveling at. I forget how exciting it is to see a squirrel or crunch in crispy leaves as a child. I forgot how exciting a park or a walk along the river can be for a child for whom the world is so new, so exciting so mind boggling that they are just trying to work it all out.

So I have decided to make an active try at change, less hurrying more enjoyment! I want to watch my children marvel at the world and relive it all through them. I want to take them camping so we can toast marshmallows on an open fire and spend time just talking and listening to each other. I want to spend that extra bit of time looking at the caterpillar on the way home from school rather than just hurrying James along. I want to crunch in those crunchy leaves, listen to his tales from school and take time to just enjoy life.

I want my children to know that lie is for living, for enjoying, for discovering. Its not for rushing or hurrying its about taking the simply joys that are all around them and really noticing them. I hope that my change will reflect in our life as a family and that together we can become more relaxed and chilled out.

xXx

We Grow Together!

Im writing this with tears in my eyes, not because im sad but because im so proud to be your mum.

Together we have been through some pretty tough patches but some damn amazing ones too! Whoever said parenthood was easy could never have been a parent, its the most exhausting, challenging, emotional job in the world yet it offers up the most rewards!

James when I became your mummy I was so scared I felt like a child myself at just 19 how could I possible raise you to be the beautiful boy I knew you could be. Having you meant I had to grow up but that's just what we did James we grew together! I taught you to clap, to walk, to talk, You taught me to love, care and become a mum.

I often look back and wonder if I did enough for you, did we go to enough baby groups? did I teach you enough, did you socialise enough? did I feed you right? enough? all these questions running around my head but you could make it all right with a simple "love you mummy" and I think we did ok James. You are excelling at school and despite your tantrums you are a beautiful young man who never fails to make everyone around you smile with your witty come backs and general cuteness.

Im still learning from you now James, when I applied for your school last year I had endless sleepless nights, it was such a big decision that was going to shape your young life. How could I make that decision by myself? But you guided my through you came with me to the school visits you told me what you liked, I researched until I could read no more and now you have been at school almost 1 year I can see how happy you are and I think we made the right choice!

Evelyn when I was pregnant with you I stressed so much, how could I find anymore love in my heart when it already felt over flowing for your brother. How would James cope with having a brother/sister? How would I cope with 2 children? But when they placed you in my arms and clique or not I loved you so much and my love for you and James wasn't shared, it felt like my heart grew bigger and I was filled with more love.

Although I had learnt so much with James me and you were on a whole new learning curve, me as a mummy of 2 and you as a baby sister. James was besotted by you and you loved him too. James could make you smile in an instant and I knew you were a mummy's girl as I was the only one who could settle you when you cried. It felt amazing to see you and James growing together and I am amazed at how quickly you are learning new things with the help of your loving brother.

Its true what they say all babies are different and you totally proved that! You have tested us out with very little sleep and cried and cried with no real explanation. I like to think of those as your "little diva" moments because you are usually so calm and relaxed and can always offer up a smile.

There are things that you have both taught me in life and on of those things is that sometimes it is the smallest things in live that bring us the biggest smiles, the largest amount of love and make us realise just how precious life is.

xXx

Becoming a mummy of 2!

Before I had Evelyn I spent every day wondering how I would cope with 2 children. The logistics of it, how I would cope, there's only 1 of me and 2 of them that will be soon demanding my attention 24/7. I worked myself up in to a frenzy of worry whilst pregnant with all of these scenarios in my head of how I was going to fail at being a mummy of 2.

When Evelyn arrived those thoughts briefly left my mind James was besotted by his new baby sister and all Evelyn did was sleep (oh those were the days!). That was until she began becoming more alert, awake and demanding! 

When Evelyn reached around the 4 month mark she began being really alert, wanting to look round and explore her surroundings. At this point we also reached the clingy, I want to be carried all the time stage. This was when the "fun" began. Then when she learnt to crawl at around 8 months it became a whole new challenge!

I am not going to lie being a mum of 2 with a 5 year age gap between them is hard. James wants to play with all his small toys such as Lego and Transformers whilst Evelyn just wants to eat whatever James is playing with (despite having a whole tub of her own toys!). 

Of course my time does quite often have to be shared and sometimes I simply can't do something. For example if we go to the park and James wants me to go climbing around the park with him, I cant just leave Evelyn in her pushchair on her own so he has to go and climb without me. Now he understands that mummy can't always do everything he asks he is much more understanding of the situation and takes full advantage when daddy comes with us.

We try and ensure that James gets a little bit of 1 to 1 time with either me or his dad to read together or play a game together and just to chat. It means he gets his little be of time with 1 of us without Evelyn crying or requiring our attention. In that time our attention is 100% his!

I also found investing in things such as a Bumbo seat or Jumperoo/ baby walker means that baby can be placed down for short periods of time leaving you with your hands free to get on with other things whilst baby is safe and often entertained.

Sometimes it does mean that Evelyn has to whinge a little longer because I cannot just jump up and abandon what I am doing because she wants picking up. I have 2 babies and splitting my time fairly is part of my job now.

Would I change it.... NO! Ok so there are moments when I could rip my hair out and lock myself in a small cupboard until my husband gets home, but the good times far out weigh those moments. Seeing them sit down together and James teaching Evelyn how to work different toys, whilst she stares at him intently taking everything in melts my heart. 

Just thinking of them growing up together, learning from each other and knowing they have each other makes me smile every time. 

So if like me you have those 2nd baby worries just try and remember that whilst there will be times when things are tough and when you feel like all your worries were right this moment in time is a short one and soon they will be growing up. Yes the bickering and arguing will inevitably continuing, probably forever but the good times will always out weigh the bad. 

Whilst having Evelyn meant our life became a little more crazy, a little more hectic and a little more noisy. It also meant our lives were filled with a few more smiles, a lot more laughter and double the love and that totally makes it worth it!

Do you have any advice on becoming a parent of 2 or more children? Please do share below.

xXx